Saying Goodbye

This week I have mostly been saying goodbye. Everywhere I go I am embarking on my last something. Yesterday, for example, was my last Sunday morning in bed, my last home-cooked Sunday dinner and my last service at church. Today is my last day at the cute little cafe where i work with some of my best friends and tomorrow is my last aerobics class at a school where I have been teaching fitness classes to the same lovely ladies for about two years now. Last week I suffered the trauma (and I am not being overly-dramatic here-it was horrific) of my last days, nights, walks, hugs and chases with my beautiful dog whom i have loved since he was born 5 years ago.

It's funny how all the everyday mundane things in life suddenly seem so precious when they are limited. Why on earth do i feel sad when i realise this is the last time i will clean the coffee machine at work? What is it about the fact that i no longer have to push the rubbish entirely into the bin to avoid coming down in the morning to butter packets and tinfoil meticulously licked clean and strewn all over the floor that makes me burst into tears. The very things that made me cross with the dog are the things that make me miss him. The things that have to be done all the time, the things that make life seem boring and mundane, these are the things that i suddenly feel so very sentimentally attached to now that i won't get to do them anymore.

I guess that's the positive side of saying goodbye. When you say goodbye you are forced into a recognition of  the good in your life. The people and things you see everyday, the journeys and jobs you begrudge, the clutter that messes up your house- these are the things you suddenly love when it's time to say goodbye. The other positive thing about saying goodbye is that it elicits such a great response from the people in your life. Suddenly everyone feels at liberty to say nice things to you. It's great :-) It's like you died and got to go to your own funeral (and thankfully lots of people came and everyone was nice- phew!)

We all have seasons in our life. We move home or job, we get married or have children, we sell the old and buy something new. Whenever we move onto a new season in our lives there's a few goodbyes to be said. No matter how much you wanted the bigger house with a garden it's kinda sad when you leave your old house for the last time. No matter how much you love your children you sometimes miss the way of life you said goodbye to when they came into your life (or so I'm gathering from the 'make the most of your freedom now' advice i keep getting from parents lol). But if you didn't say goodbye, if the fear of change or regret prevented you from moving into the next season of your life, you'd be stuck. You could be missing out on all sorts of new pleasures and joys and relationships if only you could pluck up the courage to take a risk.

Moving into a new season in your life is a risk. Saying goodbye to the old season is a risk. But as long as you are moving forward with your life and making good decisions then there is positive to be found, even in the goodbyes. This week I am wallowing in the familiarity and love of the present season, which is now drawing to a close. I am grateful to be forced into a recognition of the love and joy and beauty of the life i have been living. I am overwhelmed by the love and kindness that has been expressed by those living this current season with me. I am grateful for the positives of saying goodbye.

Next week i will mostly be saying hello (or Buna Ziwa). Next week i will be looking forward with excitement to the new season in my life and hopefully i'll get to experience all the positives of saying hello lol.