Time Flies When Your Having Fun!!!

This blog was supposed to run in a sequence with my last entry “two weeks to go” and was destined to be entitled “two weeks after”. But I believe we're currently looking at approximately 12 weeks after and so my original title seems somewhat outdated.

Well what can I say, I have my excuses, you can't deny I've been fairly busy these last 12 weeks, what with having my first baby, packing up my house and moving back to Romania and all. In fact so much has happened I find myself a little stumped for a topic to ramble about today. Every week I have thought of something I would like to write about but it soon becomes old news before I get around to it. Babies just don't seem to understand that you need more than 10 minutes at any one time if you actually want to get something done lol (or maybe they do get it and that explains why they are so good at waking up/getting bored/getting hungry just as the computer loads up).

Nonetheless here I am........ I have found my slot of time. It is a crafty little move that involves walking with the pram down to the mall, lulling Annabelle off for a morning nap and then sitting in a coffee shop typing with one hand and jiggling the pram with the other thus fooling her into thinking she is still walking and earning myself up to an hour of computer time! This is the third time we've tried it and apart from the mean security guard in the food hall, who made me move because it wasn't officially open for another half an hour, it's going quite well!! I successfully managed to prepare a sermon and a bible study, write a blog for kairos and catch up on a few important emails on my last two visits. Today I have the most delicious hot chocolate (seriously it's so thick it's more like a pot of hot chocolate pudding) and a bit of space to catch up on my own blog.

The only problem now is inspiration! The thing about inspiration is that it doesn't always arrive on demand..... just because I have the opportunity doesn't mean I will have something to say. And despite staring at the screen for ten minutes I still have no great ideas, no stories to tell, no lessons learned to share. But I'm going to keep writing anyway because if I wait for something great my blog will disappear neglected and unfinished into cyber-space and even if no-one will miss reading it, I will definitely miss writing it.

I will take this opportunity then, to give you a quick run-down of the last fourteen weeks since I wrote an entry and save the inspirational stories about nettles, dogs and balconies for another time lol. So ….... I am no longer pregnant (which is weirdly normal- 14 weeks ago I felt like I'd been pregnant forever and now I can hardly remember what it felt like at all) and now I'm a mum (which is also weirdly normal since 14 weeks ago I was just me and now I can hardly remember what that felt like at all). Annabelle Summer Craven was born at 12:58pm on Friday 29^th July, one day later than predicted and 11 hours after she first announced her imminent arrival. I guess the birth was pretty straightforward really- I went in with a bump and came out with a baby- but it doesn't matter how many other people have done it before you and how normal it is to have a baby it's such a spectacularly frightening, exciting, happy, painful, mind-blowing, life-changing event that you just can't quite comprehend it for a while. It feels like what I did (and what I am doing) was (and is) something really special and yet there were at least 10 other women on my ward with their new babies and everyone in the world seems to be pushing a pram these days. It's such a big deal and yet so completely normal at the same time. Surely you should have to be selected or have special qualifications or be in some way superhuman to embark on such an amazing and all consuming endeavour.

Since she was born, Annabelle has continued to blow us away on a daily basis. There are no words to describe the joy and love we feel so I won't even bother! I'm sure you can guess what the last twelve weeks have entailed in regards to tears, laughter, tiredness, cuddles etc etc so there's no need to go into detail here. The only unusual part of our parenting journey has been our relocation back to Romania. We flew back to Timisoara on the 10^th September when Annabelle was 5 weeks and 6 days old. I was pretty worried about the journey -a four hour drive to Luton, arriving at 5am for a flight at 7am, 2 and a half hours on the worlds smallest plane, 3 giant suitcases plus 2 hand luggage bags, a pram and a car seat, and of course a six week old baby and two, already tired from a week of packing up the house, new parents. But we made it. I had prayed a lot about the journey and I really believe God was with us- it was a mini miracle. Annabelle has never slept and fed with such impeccable timing before or since...... you had to see it to believe it :-).

We have now settled back into our little flat in Timisoara and have found new routines and baby placating tactics. The 10 minute walk to the nearest supermarket which I probably only actually walked (as opposed to drove) about five times when we were here before has become a daily (at least) sleep-stroll. We have discovered that walking up and down the cold, dark corridor outside our door has weird and wonderful calming effects on a wound up Annabelle, as does sitting on the newly erected swing out front etc etc. Annabelle too is getting to know her new environment, she now recognises when we arrive home and promptly wakes up and demands to be out of whatever contraption she is being transported in, she has also developed a particular dislike for all the junctions around our house and shouts her head off if the car stops for a second. She loves to go walking in the forest in her sling and her favourite place in the world is the play-gym her grandma bought. She has made many new friends here in Romania, everybody loves her, despite her tendency to throw up on them. She is growing and changing and keeping us on our toes!

It's been an eventful three months, an exciting three months, an emotional three months. Life has changed dramatically......permanently.....but I have no doubt it will continue to surprise me, and challenge me, and hopefully provide me with plenty of topics to ramble about in the future!

Two weeks to go..........

Turns out 9 months is a long time!

But then I suppose when you consider the complexities of creating new life, of developing a perfectly formed miniature human being with the potential to grow into a full size adult complete with an entirely unique DNA structure and an individual personality to boot.......it's really not that long after all.

In fact.....it all happens in a ridiculously short period of time for something so spectacular and magnificent. It takes two years to do your GCSE's for goodness sake..... but knock up a new human being.....'let me see.....I think I can have that ready for you in about.....hmmmm.... 9 months!!' What has been particularly surprising to me me about the whole enterprise is not only that it all happens so quickly but that there is so little to do. You'd think it would take more effort on our part to produce this new life. But apart from the obvious initiation procedures- we don't need to do anything.....it just happens. Sure we busy ourselves with obligations regarding food and vitamins and activities, visiting the doctor and doing the appropriate reading but these things are all superfluous......they make us feel better, we like to feel like we are doing our part.

At the very least I was hoping I would be required to eat more (I mean- you'd think with all that extra activity going on there'd be a few calories free to blow on chocolate and ice cream) but apparently nada - I don't get to eat for two-.......my body is so efficient it can create new life with the usual 2000 calories a day. Not only that, it somehow manages to save a few of those precious calories and deposit them on my hips in case I need them afterwards.


Nine months FEELS like a long time though......... like I've been pregnant forever! Simple pleasures like flopping face first on the bed seem like distant childhood memories. I've always gotten a little jealous of the athletes when I'm watching Wimbledon, but this year it was magnified tenfold as I struggled to even sit comfortably in a giant plushy armchair dreaming of running and leaping and diving on the grass......oh how I long to leap!!!! Not to mention the suspense of meeting my very own child- a baby created from me and Lindon- growing all this time inside me, wriggling around and kicking me in the ribs. Here with us- but not yet fully here with us!

It is now less than 2 weeks until my official due date and we are very excited if a little nervous. But mostly I just can't really comprehend it. Apparently in around about 2 weeks time the baby that I've been struggling to imagine is responsible for all the craziness that is happening on the inside of my body is going to join us on the outside. And our lives will never be the same!

There is so much wonder and confusion and excitement and unknown in this world that we take for granted. Because it happens everyday we just accept it. Of course babies are created supernaturally inside you over the course of 9 months and are then born, a part of you and yet their own person. Of course you feel indescribable unconditional love for these children. Of course when you sow a seed a plant will grow. Of course the sun will come up and the seasons will change. I can tell you the facts behind all these facts. Having read my weekly updates throughout my pregnancy I have been kept informed of exactly what was happening when and why. But it doesn't explain the wonder of it all, the 'why?' behind it all. And I still can't truly comprehend what is happening to me.

You'd think in a world as wonderful and incomprehensible as ours we would find it easy to accept a wonderful and incomprehensible God. And yet we let the things we don't know cloud the things we do. We take a huge risk when we decide to have children. We cannot know how it will turn out. We cannot control or understand everything that will happen but we somehow know it will be worth the risk. It will be worth all the hard times and the questions and the risks and the faith, for the wonder and joy of it all. God is not about facts and laws and rigid results and theologies, He is wonder and faith and incomprehension. But as I continue on my journey through life I have always found Him to be worth the risk.

So.....two more weeks (ish)....... if the last two have been anything to go by I think they're going to be the longest two weeks ever....... followed (so I'm led to believe) by years of increasing acceleration as my child grows up quicker than I could possibly imagine!!

Earwigging on the conversations of strangers......

Three days from now I will have my bags packed and be setting my alarm for 3.30am so I can get a plane home to England for the summer. It's been a little odd trying to settle in to a new country knowing that in a few months or weeks I would be leaving again for a while. Generally I've found it easier to ignore this fact and just concentrate on being here but I have to admit it has affected me in some ways- especially in the last month or so. The most obvious being my 'enthusiasm' for my language learning.

Before we came I was so excited about learning a new language. I felt like I had learned loads from the CD’s I had determinedly chuntered along to while ironing and driving to aerobics classes. I could count to a hundred. I could say I wanted something to eat and drink in many different forms, ask how, when and where, say here or there. And, of course, my personal favourite, the catch-all, get you out of trouble phrase "I am English, I don't understand!!!"

But then I got here........and everyone looked at me blank. My pronunciation was terrible I know (stupid tongue- why can't you roll your 'r's) but it wasn't just that. It turns out that pretty much everything I had learned on my CD’s was in fact an overly formal version of what normal people would actually say in any given situation. So even the phrases I thought I knew needed to be re-learned and replaced with new, more usable, versions. For example, suppose you wanted to invite your new friends round to your house for some food- what you need to know how to say is "hey guys, I'm starving d'ya fancy coming round to mine and getting a take-away". Instead the CD has equipped me with the decidedly less friendly announcement "I would like to eat something" which, while it may sound functional when you first learn it, comes across somewhat robotic when deposited into a real-life conversation unaccompanied by anecdotal preliminaries. And then of course there's the realisation that just because you know how to say "hello, how are you?" doesn't mean you'll stand a chance of understanding "er...yeah, I'm ok I guess, been a bit tired recently but I'm not so bad". According to the CD the only response I should ever expect to receive was "good thanks, how are you?".

It's also interesting to discover just how quick your conversation runs out. For example the first time I meet a Romanian who doesn't speak English I am able say "hello, my name is Sam, it's nice to meet you". If I feel confident to hang around I can then go on to ask where they live and if they have any children. I can have a small conversation about how pregnant I am and the seemingly incomprehensible notion that I do not know whether I am having a boy or a girl. By now though I'm starting to get desperate so, in true English style I refer to the weather- I am still a bit weak in this area so I either say "it is very hot" or "it is very cold". There follows an awkward silence before I pull out my 'get out of jail free card' "Unde este Toaletta vuh rog?" (where is the toilet please?) The second time I meet this person I have nothing conversational beyond “it is nice to see you” so I have no option but to come across as a temperature obsessed toilet visiting weirdo.......thank goodness I'm pregnant otherwise people would think I had a problem!

Then of course you have to contend with the fact that everybody speaks better English than you do Romanian. It is both the blessing and the curse of the English speaker. Even those who claim not to speak English at all can understand it better than you think- they have been listening to English music and watching films in English with Romanian subtitles their whole lives. Not that this makes it easy or natural for them necessarily, but I do feel at a slight disadvantage. I have absolutely nothing in the bank, no phrases, sayings or even childhood nursery rhymes- before I thought about coming here I think I can honestly say I had never encountered a single Romanian word. So, needless to say it soon gets boring for everyone involved if we limit conversation to my Romanian. English it is then - a relief and a disappointment all at the same time- I know I should try and insist they let me practice with them but I just feel like such an idiot and it's so hard I can't imagine I'll ever get it right. It takes a really long time to learn a language- it's not just vocabulary, it's phrases and sayings, and gender's and word orders, it's concepts, it's culture.

Having reached the end of the CD learning program I have nothing left but books from the 1980's (it's surprisingly hard to find Romanian language lessons) which I keep intending to work through but which I always discard in disgust as soon as I pick them up again- I struggle enough with my Yorkshire version of the pronunciation when someone says the word to me, never-mind trying to figure it out from the Romanian spelling. Needless to say, as the dates for returning to England have approached I have become less and less disciplined in my determination to try. I asked about lessons but then there didn't seem any point cos we were going home in a few weeks blah blah blah. Excuses excuses I know. I am a bit disappointed in myself actually......but apparently not enough to do anything about it. :-)

I have tried not to waste my time here thinking about the things I miss about home but now that there's only a few days left I'm allowing myself to contemplate country walks, fish and chips and pub meals, and of course the family and friends I will finally get to hug again. And today, as I sat in the mall it also occurred to me how nice it would be not to be a foreigner for a little while. To instantly understand everything that I see and hear around me. To not only be able to talk to anyone or everyone in the room if I wanted to, but to be able to sneakily earwig on the conversations of strangers. To comprehend the cost of something instantly without having to perform arithmetical gymnastics. To know where to go and what to do if I need to pay a bill or the car breaks down (both of which occurred today!). Don't get me wrong I am loving living in Romania but I am gonna enjoy being English in England this summer.

A suitable job for the pregnant girl......

It's taking a bit of getting used to this being pregnant lark.

I've never been one to sit around while other people did stuff. I like to have a go. I'm the girl who joins in with the boys games at the BBQ, I go for the heavy looking box, and I love to get out and push if your car won't start. So when I first announced I was pregnant I was bemused and slightly offended when people started taking my bags from me and insisting I sat in their chair when really I'd much rather sit on the floor. I was pregnant....... but I was still fit, and strong, and much more adept at getting up off the floor than many of the people who felt obliged to help- bless em.

Now that I'm a whale, with an aching back and a very wriggly little being inside me- who seems to prefer to lie primarily in awkward positions- I'm not only more aware of my limitations, I'm infinitely more appreciative of that special treatment!! Still, it's taken me a while to get used to being careful. It's not just the physical stuff- it's all the other risks you suddenly become aware of when you feel responsible for someone so much more vulnerable than you.

I hate a fuss. In fact, I generally hate having my own way. Mostly because I don't know what my own way is. Lindon always laughs at me because when he asks what I want to do, he knows that I'm not really deciding what I want at all, I'm actually trying to figure out what I think he wants so that I can say I want that. Pathetic sounding I know, but it's not something I just do with Lindon. I do it most of the time. It sounds saintly but don't misunderstand, the truth is I very rarely have a strong opinion on what I want to do, or eat, or see- I just want everyone else to be happy and then I can relax and enjoy myself. My genuine preference is to do whatever you want to do because that means you will enjoy doing it and so everything will go well. Which makes me the absolute worst person when it comes to making decisions- I'm the perfect companion for someone who knows what they want but absolutely useless if you need someone to show you a good time. So anyway, my point was that I don't like to kick up a fuss, I'm much happier just going along with whatever is happening around me. The problem with being pregnant is that sometimes you have to make a fuss. Sometimes you have to refuse food that people have made you because it's a risk. Sometimes you have to go home from a party because someone has been in contact with a disease that could seriously harm your unborn baby. And the worst of it is.....it's probably fine...... but then what if it wasn't?

Since I've been in Romania I've been trying to find the balance between not being afraid to get on and do stuff and not taking unnecessary risks. I think being in a foreign country with so many unknowns, coupled with a very strong desire to be well-and-truly home in England before this baby comes, have not only emboldened me in the 'making a fuss' department but have encouraged a little more restraint in the 'joining in' department too. Nonetheless I still find it excruciating having to be awkward.

In an earlier blog I mentioned we were hoping to get involved with a charity in the nearby town of Arad. A few weeks ago we spent four days working with them in the small village of Siria where they have their base. There is all kinds of work to do in Siria and Lindon was very popular with his many skills and talents. I on the other hand was a bit of a problem. I knew I didn't want to work with the kids (the least labour intensive option) because I didn't want to risk getting sick but hard labour was probably not a brilliant option either. The first day was easy, I stayed at the base sorting donated items into bags to distribute to families at Easter. By the end of the day though I had decided that bending down 50 million times to rummage around in boxes on the floor was probably not on the pregnant girl list of job skills either.

So the second day I offered to dig. 'I'll just take it easy' I thought..... 'how hard can it be'? What I hadn't accounted for were the ancient broken tools the poor old widow whose garden we were digging would have for us to use. I was expecting a spade I could stamp on, or a trowel I could kneel with. I was given a hoe. Now I'm not a gardener but it really didn't seem like the best tool for turning over hard soil ready to plant corn- you had to bend at the waist and swing with both hands like a pick axe. But the little old lady was quite bossy, almost scary, and she didn't take kindly to stops of any kind......even the inevitable ones that occurred when the hoe fell off the handle.

..."only not pregnant!"

I think she thought I was fat and lazy at first....... she kept tutting at me and if my hoe broke she gave me hers so I could keep going while she went and fixed it. Then, with Lindon insisting I took a break, I decided to try out my Romanian conversation skills. 'Bebe' I said pointing to my stomach (Romanian conversation is clearly one of those special skills of mine) at which point she grabbed the hoe off me, took my hand and led me to the other side of the garden where she found a much more suitable job for the pregnant girl......I was to drop corn kernels into the little holes she dug. Meanwhile everyone else should keep swinging.

The third day I joined a team driving up to a camp ground an hour away from Siria to do some groundwork. It doesn't sound like the best idea but I pushed for it because the weather was glorious and the location of this camp, in the hills near a lake, was said to be beautiful. There was painting to do, as well as strimming and digging, and as it was outside I figured it would be white wash and suitably ventilated by the wind - so no problems for a pregnant girl. As it happens it was the fumiest gloss paint you've ever smelt, and the day was so still it was making my eyes water, not to mention the fact that most of it required a ladder perched on uneven ground. I painted a door, with my T-shirt over my mouth before I decided to make a fuss. I'm sure it would have been fine but I'd read somewhere that the fumes from household cleaning products could be something of a risk so I decided it wasn't worth it. So I approached the team, sorry to be a pain but could they find me another job. "Sure, take this metal brush and strip all the loose paint off the windows on the cabins so they are ready to be painted." After about 2 hours of this particularly mundane and boring job I took a break and called Lindon. Upon investigating my questions about paint fumes on his phone he discovered that a bigger risk was in fact stripping old paint in case it had lead in it. Great! So off I went again to make a fuss again. I finished the day raking up grass and loading and emptying a wheelbarrow...... at least with physical work you can usually tell if it's having a bad effect.

Since that week we have been making the 100 mile round trip on crazy Romanian roads one day every week to help out with the many projects Networks is running. And finally we have found a suitable job for the pregnant girl. I am spending my one day a week working with Dece- a micro enterprise company that Networks have established which empowers and enables some of the women in the poorer gypsy communities to work from home and earn some extra money while taking care of their kids. Dece workers make hats, and scarves, and bags and hopefully a few other new things soon if any of my research comes in useful. So now I am spending my day sat down. I am researching sales opportunities and new product lines, and apart from needing to stretch and walk a little more frequently than others might I am happy to find I am finally capable of making myself nearly as useful as everyone else!!

What Time is it Mr Wolf?

Where does the time go??

Apparently it's nearly a month since I last posted a blog. It feels like about two weeks.

Similarly the diary tells me I've been living in Romania for nearly two months now and will be going back to England for the baby in one month. It feels like it's the other way around.

Yesterday I woke up before my alarm. The alarm was set for 8am but I was nicely awake at 7.45. Hmmmm surprising. Especially since I didn't go to bed particularly early and sleep is one of my specialities. Good though. I love it when you get up early and get loads of things done. I'd do it more often but as I mentioned sleep is one of my very special talents. So, I now had two whole hours before I had to be at the office for a meeting with Wendy about producing a newsletter for Kairos.

I was having a lovely morning, eating grapefruit, reading, praying, listening to a bit of music when the phone rang at 9:28am. I know it was 9:28 because that's what time it said it was on my phone when I picked it up to answer the call. So you can imagine my surprise when my friend on the other end asked me if I was ok and questioned why I hadn't come to the meeting yet. "Because I thought we were meeting at 10am" was my genuinely confused and innocent response. Apparently I was absolutely right, we were meeting at 10am. The only problem was that it was in fact currently 10.28am.

I had taken the battery out of my phone the afternoon before and when I shoved it hurriedly back in just as I was leaving the house that evening I was disgruntled to find it had forgotten the time and date. It seems I proceeded to rectify this problem somewhat carelessly, and unfortunately the consequences were felt the next day. Not so much by me, I had a lovely morning dawdling about, but definitely by poor Wendy who sat in the office waiting for me for 50 minutes. I really should have been more suspicious about the whole waking up before the alarm incident.

Time is such a funny thing. They tell us it's a constant. But I often find it to be one of the most relative things in this world. Most other forms of measurement produce strikingly consistent results. The scales, for example. Even though I fain shock and surprise they are usually simply confirming my fears and dashing my weak hopes with alarming consistency. Whenever I measure out a litre of water for cooking it usually looks about the same. I'm pretty good at guessing people's heights and even distance, which can be a little confusing due to the different speeds of our available transportation, is usually pretty predictable once you have reminded yourself of your context. A 5 mile journey in a car is a misleadingly short distance if you then find yourself having to walk back. However once we have familiarised ourselves with each form of transport most people can make a pretty accurate guess how long a certain distance will take them to travel. My experience is that, even those who seem incapable of making an accurate prediction,....those who say "I'll be there in 5 mins" to which you nod and smile but automatically assume it will be at least 15...... even those people, are perfectly capable of measuring distance. They know it will take 15mins, they are just hoping to soften the blow of their inconsiderate lateness by making you think they'll be there soon. (I know this because I am this person....... I hate being late...... but I always am........it's another one of those special talents of mine).

But Time..........Time is different. Time is notoriously difficult to judge. Time is so relative it even has the extraordinary ability to appear to have gone both fast and slow to the same person. For example the last eight weeks since I left Haworth.......sometimes seem like an age. It's forever ago since I last walked the dog on the moors, since I saw my family, since I went to Morissons. I've done so much. I've driven across Europe, visited my friends in Switzerland, moved into a new house, furnished said house, made new friends, visited new places etc etc

But then sometimes.......it's like no time at all - Morissons.....pah....I know it so well I could talk a blind man into doing my shopping via skype without the need for video call. How can we possibly have been here 8 weeks already??? What's especially bizarre is that I am capable of these contradictory evaluations of time simultaneously!!!! Right now it feels like both a long and a short time that we've been here. And unfortunately this confusion rears it's ugly head with reference to practically every event that has ever occurred in my life......they were all so long ago and yet they feel like 'only yesterday'...... all at the same time!!!

I realise that I personally seem to spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about time. "It's passing so quickly", "it's passing so slowly", "how much time do I have", "what shall I do with this time", "did I use that time wisely". I really should stop going on about it. But the other day when I based my day and my decisions on an entirely irrelevant time that I had, it seems, simply plucked out of the air, I realised again that Time is a law unto itself. It just ticks away. It doesn't matter one bit what time we think it is. It is what it is, all we can do is deal with it wisely.

I am currently reading a philosophy book called 'The reason for God' by Timothy Keller and he makes a similar point about God which is worth mentioning. God exists or He does not regardless of what we think on the subject. And if He does exist then He is what He is, it does not matter what we think He should be. It's an obvious point but one which seems to elude most of us post-modern thinkers. We say "well I think that if there is a God He will be like this and will do this" and if he isn't that or he doesn't seem to do what we think he should, we dismiss the whole concept. We then go on to base our whole lives on this decision about God that is merely a personal whim or preference, without really investigating our assumptions.

It didn't matter that I thought it was 9am, it didn't matter that I had programmed my world to exist around the assumption that it was 9am. It was 10 am. And that's the truth of it. If only I had checked some other clocks I would have known it was 10am. But I was so confident of my own clock...... the clock that told the time I myself had decided upon that I didn't see the need to check. And it affected my whole day......and incidentally the day of those around me!! God is or isn't whatever He is or isn't, we cannot dictate this truth or control it with our thoughts or preferences, all we can do is seek the truth and deal with it wisely.

An idea for a tea towel.......

Yesterday we went to a small village called Siria to visit a Christain Organisation called Networks who are  based there. Networks was established in 2001 and has been working with the poor in Romania for ten years. Lindon and I were given the details of this organisation by some friends in England when they found out we were planning to come to Romania. At first I just nodded and smiled......Romania is a BIG country which is notoriously difficult to travel around due to it's distinct lack of motorways i.e. one, in the whole country, somewhere near Bucharest and therefore of no use to us whatsoever. But I looked them up anyway and was surprised to find they were located in the county of Arad, next door to Tinis, which is where we are. Brilliant!!!!

So, after a few calls and emails we arranged to go for a visit so we could see what they do and discuss opportunities for us to volunteer. It takes about an hour and twenty minutes from our house to the base in Siria, so we set off about 9am and enjoyed a nice drive through arable farmland in the sun. It's incredibly flat around Timisoara, which is surprisingly hard to adjust to when your a native of the Yorkshire penines, still, at least it significantly reduces your petrol consumption :-). We arrived at 10.30 and introduced ourselves to Karen, a full-time networks volunteer of ten years, who is originally from Rochdale and whose accent became reassuringly broader and more northern sounding the longer she talked with us. She told us all about the organisation and the different works that they are doing in different communities in and around Arad. We were really impressed by the variety of their activities and the thoughtful philosophies behind their interventions in these communities.

Networks are involved in basic crisis help for the very poor, i.e, distributing food,  firewood and emergency medication for those who desperately need help to survive day by day. But they are also very concerned with addressing the more long-term issues and have many projects to help people work their way out of the poverty they find themselves in. For example, they have a full time social worker who is dedicated to helping people get the id and papers they need to be able to work and get medical help. Without an id card you cannot get a job, sign a contract, access a hospital or claim any kind of help from the government in Romania (Note to self: Get and ID card!). Many people have no papers whatsoever and are not even sure when and where they were born making it a difficult but essential task to get them registered.



Networks also place a high value on education since this will be a significant factor in helping the children break the cycle of poverty that their families are in and so they provide pre- school clubs and homework clubs in deprived communities to help encourage the children in their learning. Similarly Networks are concerned with helping to provide employment opportunities for those who are willing and able to work and have several enterprise schemes on the go. One such project is the Dece clothing company. Women with families to look after are provided with the skills, designs and materials to make high quality hats at home which are then sold internationally via the Dece website. Networks are also helping families by building giant greenhouses in their gardens enabling them to start growing fruits and vegetables and helping them negotiate contracts to sell them to the big supermarkets. We went to visit one of these newly built greenhouses and the owner was very enthusiastic about it...... his only complaint was that he could have planted earlier if only it had been finished lol.


After we'd heard all about it at the office Karen took us for a walk around two of these communities, the rural community in Siria and the inner city ghetto that is kakece (i have completely made that spelling up) in the city of Arad. Despite my enthusiasm for being involved while sitting and hearing about the work in these communities- the reality of being in them was a bit overwhelming. I wish I could say I was filled with instant love for the grubby little kids with bare feet and  (very) snotty noses who came running up to us, punching and hugging us in a bizarre show of affection and demanding to know our names. I wish I found it easy to look them in the eye and hug them back. But I'm afraid if I'm completely honest- the unknown is pretty scary and overwhelming, and these kids covered in dirt and shouting at me in Romanian were very much the unknown and I was a bit daunted. I know as I spend more time in these communities and get to know and recognise the people I will become more used to them and their ways and relax a little bit but at first, in all honesty , its going to be a challenge.

The next step for us is to fill out an application form and work out when we will be available to help out. Our hope is to be able to volunteer on a regular day once a week. Obviously my being pregnant and our limited availability will put restrictions on what we can do but Networks have so much going on that they are sure they will be able to give us something useful to do. I was so blown away by the commitment and ambition of the founders of Networks who have given so much, and achieved so much, that I came away feeling a little bit useless and mediocre .........but then I came up with a wise saying, all by myself, and it made me feel better..........I'm thinking of printing it on a tea towel.......

"Don't let your inability to do everything right undermine your potential to do something right".
                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                    Ta Da!!!!!!!

What to have for lunch...????

I am five months pregnant. Before I got pregnant I thought about what it would be like to be pregnant, then, when I found out that I was, I thought about what it would like to be more pregnant, you know, with a big fat belly and all that. Right now I'm thinking about having my own baby in my arms. But I'm pretty sure once I finally have my baby in my arms I will be thinking about how I will cope when he/she decides it's time to leave home.

Funny how very rarely we are satisfied with the present moment of life. We, or at least I, are always looking for the next thing. I don't know if it's just me but I tend to decide what I will eat for lunch while I am eating breakfast- well I say 'decide' but I am actually truly rubbish at decisions of all kinds so the reality is I merely think about it, ponder it, come up with a few options. You'd think, with the amount of time I spend thinking about what I will eat and when upon any given day, I would be able to boast a rich and varied diet and perhaps have written my own cookery book including all the fabulous new recipes I have concocted during these times. Unfortunately the reality is I usually just end up going with soup!!

There are lots of wise sayings about life being about the journey and not the destination, which when we read we all nod knowingly and say 'it's so true'. There was even that annoying x-factor song a year or so ago which reminded us it was really all just 'about the climb'. And we know it, we know it's the truth and yet we just can't help thinking about what's next.

What's with that!! I'm not saying it's wrong it just seems odd that we are wired that way. We always seem to be looking forward to the next thing. When I get here, or do that, or have the other, then I will be settled and happy and my life will be complete. Somehow we have to figure out how to enjoy now for all that it has to offer.

Unity Square- Timisoara

Right now in my life, I have just moved to a new country, I am learning a new language, I am making new friends, I am finding my place in a new church and a new city and of course I am expecting a baby. You'd think that'd be enough right.......... but for some reason I am spending all my time thinking about what it will be like WHEN I've settled in properly, WHEN I can speak Romanian, WHEN I have lots more friends, WHEN I am useful and indispensable in my new church, WHEN I know the one way system in my new city and WHEN I have my baby. I have so many hopes for my future here- I desperately want to have a purpose and be useful even if only in a small way. And that can only be a good thing right? But somehow my hopes for the future are preventing me from enjoying the present to the full. I should be enjoying settling in and finding my way around and learning about people and places and culture instead of fretting about how long the future will take to come about!!

So the lesson I'm learning this week is one which I really ought to have learnt by now. And to be fair I am generally doing quite well with it, I just have my occasional relapses and moments of panic. It's patience and trust that the future will happen despite of and regardless of how much time I spend planning it and fretting about it. And it's peace and joy and contentment in the moment that I get to live now. You only ever regret it when you look back and realise how good life was back then if only you could have relaxed and enjoyed it for what it was.

Timisoara Cathedral

So....... right now in my life I am sitting on my terrace, writing out my thoughts about life, in the hope that it will help someone else figure out their thoughts about life, watching my belly wriggle with life and making the most of the sun. This afternoon I have a language lesson to do but first its lunchtime and my soup is ready :-)!!

Hello Timisoara!!!!

We arrived in Timisoara at around 7pm local time on Friday the 18^th March. I'd love to say we were bursting with excitement or even crippled with fear because either of these extremes would have been easier to describe or explain than the general fuzziness and confusion we were actually experiencing. Arriving at the flat created similarly mixed emotions. The sight of five friendly welcoming faces was a genuine pleasure but the dirt and the dogs surrounding the place made me more than a little anxious.







As it happens we are very blessed to be living in a lovely new flat in a new block on the outskirts of town. Nonetheless the general state of disrepair in Romania can be a bit of a shock at first, especially when you are arriving at dusk on a cold, wet day and you've just spent a week in Switzerland (quite possibly the worlds most beautiful country and almost definitely the cleanest and tidiest).

Five days later and I am discovering that 'hello' is just as complicated an experience as 'goodbye'. It to, is full of contradictions. Excitement and hope at the prospect of new and positive experiences; fear, nervousness and insecurity about how we will fit in and cope with the new place or among new people. Since we arrived in Romania Lindon and I have experienced a roller-coaster of feelings and emotions; panic, excitement, fear, joy, regret, hope.

Luckily for us, the sun decided to make an appearance yesterday and as everyone knows, it's much easier to be positive in the sunshine. Regardless of the weather we are also blessed to have a great team of people around us who are helping and encouraging us and generally being friendly. Interestingly the other things that seem to be the most effective in helping us adjust to the 'new' in our lives is in fact the 'old'- the familiar. There is a mall near our home with shiny floors and food and clothes to buy, just like in England. The other night we even went to the cinema and ate popcorn and watched an American blockbuster- I particularly enjoyed the fact that while everyone else was having to read the Romanian subtitles, I could sit back, close my eyes if I so desired, and listen to the dialogue in my native tongue lol.

We have created for ourselves a little haven of familiarity in our flat with objects and pictures from home and these things are all helping our adjustment to the drastic changes we have experienced. We miss our families, we miss our friends, we miss our pets, we miss our view of the hills, we miss understanding more than 6 words of a conversation. We are adjusting to seeing dirt and poverty all around us, we are adjusting to stray dogs running all over the streets, we are adjusting to not being able to drink the tap water, and having to drive on the wrong side of the road. We are also adjusting to new people, a new culture and a new language. Saying hello to a new way of life, or a new job, or a new circumstance is not always easy. It often requires adjustments to our expectations, adjustments to our routine, adjustments to our character but if we can find the strength to be flexible there is potentially a whole world of new experiences out there for us to enjoy. We believe God has a plan for us to be here in Timisoara for a while, we don't know exactly what he has in store for us here but in focusing on his purposes we are finding the strength to be flexible.  

Sunshine, Balconies and Roaring Fires

I'm not sure what it is about balconies and verandahs that get me so excited but I just love them. I'd say it was the association with childhood sunny holidays in foreign hotels that caused this indiscriminate love but this seems unlikely due to the inherent problems of balconies in tents and the distinct lack of foreign travel (and consequently sunny holidays) that actually occurred in my childhood. Wherever it comes from my love of balconies is well known, at least to my husband Lindon. So much so that if they ever decided to make one of those 'don't tell the bride' type documentaries where the husband has to choose the family home without my input, Lindon would have hit the jackpot if he found a house with a balcony. It wouldn't matter how dilapidated the rest of the house was or how tiny the rooms, all he'd have to do would be to take me out on the balcony and I would be sold and everyone would marvel at his genius in making the right choice.

This morning I was lucky enough to be sitting on a balcony in Zurich, looking at the snowy Alps in the distance and feeling the warm sun on my skin. Three of my most favourite things, a balcony, a view and sunshine. There's something about these moments of pure pleasure and relaxation that restore and renew you in a way that nothing else can. The moments when you take a deep breath and everything is peaceful. The moments when you realise that there is more to life than all the chores and busyness of the day. The moments when you suddenly become aware that you are not the centre of the universe, in fact you are actually quite a small part of it, that the world continues to revolve even if you stop off for a moment. There are several situations that cultivate these feelings for me: sitting on a balcony (as i think i may have mentioned earlier :-)); looking out to sea; standing on top of a big hill; sitting in front of a roaring fire; lying on my back and looking at the stars; feeling the sun on my skin after a long miserable winter; a glorious sunset (and equally a sunrise though i admit to experiencing significantly less of these); looking around at a group of family and friends and realising there's no-where else I'd rather be. These are the moments when life makes sense.

These are also the moments when you start asking the right questions. Instead of asking 'what's for tea?' or 'what shall we do now?' we find room for the bigger questions- the important questions that somehow get crowded out and disregarded as we go about our everyday lives. It's in these moments, in the silence and the peace that we discover what's really important to us. It's in these moments that we become aware that we are more than just what we do and what we know. Our modern way of life has pushed God and spirituality out of our awareness. We scurry around, our busyness justifying our existence and giving us purpose but ultimately failing to fulfil our desire for significance and belonging. And then, every now and then, we stop. We see a fantastic view, we stop. We feel the warmth of the sun on our backs, we stop. We wrap our arms around someone we truly love, we stop. We stop, we take a deep breath  and we become aware of that simple truth that deep down we all know, and yet somehow we seem to be able to ignore most of the time, "There is more to life than what needs doing next, there is something bigger going on here."

These moments help us to embrace life. They encourage us to seek God, to seek purpose. They help us to re-assess our priorities and re-order our lives. They give us incentive to be a better person, a better wife, husband, parent. These moments are precious. Seek out the silence and the stillness and the deep breath moments.Walk up the big hill and take in the view. Sit outside on a clear night, wrapped in a blanket if you must, make time to sit still when the sun shows it's face. Ask the right questions and don't be too busy to seek out the answers.

Saying Goodbye

This week I have mostly been saying goodbye. Everywhere I go I am embarking on my last something. Yesterday, for example, was my last Sunday morning in bed, my last home-cooked Sunday dinner and my last service at church. Today is my last day at the cute little cafe where i work with some of my best friends and tomorrow is my last aerobics class at a school where I have been teaching fitness classes to the same lovely ladies for about two years now. Last week I suffered the trauma (and I am not being overly-dramatic here-it was horrific) of my last days, nights, walks, hugs and chases with my beautiful dog whom i have loved since he was born 5 years ago.

It's funny how all the everyday mundane things in life suddenly seem so precious when they are limited. Why on earth do i feel sad when i realise this is the last time i will clean the coffee machine at work? What is it about the fact that i no longer have to push the rubbish entirely into the bin to avoid coming down in the morning to butter packets and tinfoil meticulously licked clean and strewn all over the floor that makes me burst into tears. The very things that made me cross with the dog are the things that make me miss him. The things that have to be done all the time, the things that make life seem boring and mundane, these are the things that i suddenly feel so very sentimentally attached to now that i won't get to do them anymore.

I guess that's the positive side of saying goodbye. When you say goodbye you are forced into a recognition of  the good in your life. The people and things you see everyday, the journeys and jobs you begrudge, the clutter that messes up your house- these are the things you suddenly love when it's time to say goodbye. The other positive thing about saying goodbye is that it elicits such a great response from the people in your life. Suddenly everyone feels at liberty to say nice things to you. It's great :-) It's like you died and got to go to your own funeral (and thankfully lots of people came and everyone was nice- phew!)

We all have seasons in our life. We move home or job, we get married or have children, we sell the old and buy something new. Whenever we move onto a new season in our lives there's a few goodbyes to be said. No matter how much you wanted the bigger house with a garden it's kinda sad when you leave your old house for the last time. No matter how much you love your children you sometimes miss the way of life you said goodbye to when they came into your life (or so I'm gathering from the 'make the most of your freedom now' advice i keep getting from parents lol). But if you didn't say goodbye, if the fear of change or regret prevented you from moving into the next season of your life, you'd be stuck. You could be missing out on all sorts of new pleasures and joys and relationships if only you could pluck up the courage to take a risk.

Moving into a new season in your life is a risk. Saying goodbye to the old season is a risk. But as long as you are moving forward with your life and making good decisions then there is positive to be found, even in the goodbyes. This week I am wallowing in the familiarity and love of the present season, which is now drawing to a close. I am grateful to be forced into a recognition of the love and joy and beauty of the life i have been living. I am overwhelmed by the love and kindness that has been expressed by those living this current season with me. I am grateful for the positives of saying goodbye.

Next week i will mostly be saying hello (or Buna Ziwa). Next week i will be looking forward with excitement to the new season in my life and hopefully i'll get to experience all the positives of saying hello lol.

Hot Gossip

Well...........it's been a while since i wrote a blog. What can i say? Oops!! Not quite sure what happened there but it seems i lost my blogging mojo. Or at least 'temporarily misplaced' it since despite all signs to the contrary ...... i've not given up completely. I'm back!!!

Hurrah!! i hear you shout, "oh how we missed Sam's inane musings".

Well never fear i am committed to producing some more snippets from my relentlessly meandering mind for your reading pleasure. But first..... i have news......lots and lots of news......exciting news...... life-changing news....... news which will, in the long-run, give me a wealth of more interesting stories to tell than what happened on my most recent walk with the dog.

My news has two parts......... the first being that i am in fact pregnant!!! Lindon and I are having our very own cute, cuddly, mini me baby........ i'm actually hoping for a mini Lindon (of either the boy or girl variety) i've seen the pictures and he was SO cute when he was mini!!

So, very exciting, life-changing news i'm sure you'll agree. And plenty of good fodder for my overanalytical, philosophical mind to feast on over the next few months. Our baby is due at the end of July, which means i don't really have all that long to cook up a whole other life inside me- in fact, i'm going to be pretty impressed with myself if i meet that deadline. I am working very hard on it though- i have been eating extra yummy food and devoting myself to quality sleep time, not to mention getting my husband to spoil me at every opportunity. I'm a grafter, what can i say!

The second part of my news is that i'm moving.......to Romania! If you've read my blog before you'll know that Lindon and i went out on a trip to Romania in December. We raised money and collected parcels and goods to take out there to help some of the Romanian people who are struggling to get by. The trip was a great success- the people we met were so grateful for the gifts they received and all of our team were so grateful for the opportunity they had to help make a difference. Now Lindon and i are planning to go back out to Timisoara and work with the church out there that helped us organise our trip.

Lindon and I have always sought opportunities to serve God and in particular to follow after his plan for our lives. We believe in a God who loves us and cares for us and is interested in what we do. A God who, like any loving father has a good plan to see his children live good, happy and meaningful lives. We decided a long time ago that we wanted our lives to be directed by God- we trust Him, and we believe that following His plan will be the most fulfilling version of this life that we could lead........it might not always be the easiest, but it will be the best. Subsequently we always make all our decisions in life with this in mind. We actively pray and seek God and ask him what direction our lives should take, what does he want us to do? What's next?

We have felt God has been preparing us for a big change for a while now and finally we feel sure we know exactly what's next........Romania. It can be quite hard trying to explain to people why we are going.......the interrogators are a little harder to appease than they were 7 years ago when we said we felt led to go to Australia......funny how no one even asked for a reason then, 'of course you want to move to Australia, who wouldn't?'

But some things are hard to explain, especially if your trying to explain them to someone who doesn't understand the concepts you are using to explain your explanation. Having never experienced hunger or thirst of the life-threatening variety i find it hard to understand how anyone can drink their own urine or eat a raw skunk....... surely you would just wait a little longer til you stumbled across the next desert MacDonalds, there's bound to be one, they're everywhere right? If you'd never experienced love you would find it hard to understand all the crazy things people do and the massive sacrifices people make for the people they love........ you'd be all confused like Spock from Star Trek.... "but it's not logical???"

If you've never experienced a relationship with God, you probably think i'm a bit of a fruitcake talking about being directed by God to go and live in Romania. But hey ho that's the truth of it and maybe one day you'll come to your own understanding of the concepts i'm using to explain my crazy explanation.

Netbook Fun

Last Saturday i enjoyed a rare experience of what is commonly described as 'retail therapy'. I have never been much of a believer in the medicinal properties of shopping, mostly because i have never had access to enough money to feel simple joy and release when buying new things, my purchases, rather, tend to be infused with feelings of worry and regret.

On Saturday, however, it was different. This time i had money in my pocket that had no other purpose except to be spent AND the thing i was buying could not only be justified as useful but could also be considered a bit of a bargain.

The money had come from the belly of a yellow spotted elephant i keep on my bedside.In a flashback to the simple days of childhood spending i have been saving my pocket money. Spending was always so much easier when you were a kid, you earned it, you saved it, you spent it. It never entered your head that perhaps this money should be kept on one side in case the boiler broke or the exhaust fell off the car. If you managed to save £25 from your paper round (which believe me was no mean feat round our way.......our paper shop paid a whopping £3.60 a week for a paper round- that was 60p a day for between 50 and 60 papers- an hours worth of delivery- per day- six days a week- i believe we would call that child slave labour these days, in fact, i'm not sure why we didn't back then- it was only the nineties!!!). What was i saying?........Oh yeah so IF you managed to save £25 from your paper round then you had no qualms about blowing it all on that new babyliss product that must surely be the breakthrough you've been waiting for in hairstyling technology, the one that will finally give you the glossy curls you've always dreamed of. I'm afraid i was a bit of a sucker for the promise of the beauty section in the argos catalogue as a youngster, not a birthday or Christmas passed by without the receipt of a much requested and highly anticipated but eventually tragically disappointing electrical beauty product.

Anyway in an effort to rekindle this kind of guilt free spending i have been saving up little scraps of money i get here and there, namely the tips i get in the cafe two days a week and the money i earn from an extremely professional and important ironing service i provide for my sister-in-law. And so, many months of saving later and i have enough to treat myself to a new computer...... one of those cute little miniature ones........i believe the technical term is a 'netbook'. I love it!! It's black and shiny and makes cute little noises when you turn it on. Lindon tells me it's also a very good computer in terms of it's processing power yadayada but i've no idea really, it works........... and it's black and shiny!

The other really great thing about this computer is it's mine! I'm aware that this makes me sound very greedy and selfish but i don't really mean it like that. I just mean it's not the house computer, or the work computer or the uni computer. It's not full of things i don't understand or know how to get the best out of. The desktop is not swimming in icons that dazzle me and prevent me from seeing the only one that i want. It's not that i don't want anyone else to use this computer it's just that i really like that it's tailored to me. In fact, i'm becoming somewhat of a computer nerd now i have one of my own. Suddenly it occurrs to me that all kinds of things could be done on computer.......accounts, sermons, journalling, to do lists, christmas shopping (i've traditionally been quite attached to the old pen and paper).

I also particularly enjoy the miniature aspect of my computer. You can literally take it anywhere with you. I have acquired a new pink pouch in which to carry my shiny new toy and have subsequently taken it shopping with me twice. I have yet to actually USE it out and about but i am full of good intention. The theory, on both the aforementioned trips to the shops, was that i would get my jobs done in town and do a bit of computer work in a cafe and enjoy the change of scenery (not to mention getting to feel all important sitting in the cafe tapping away as if my work was so important that the world could not afford to wait for me to finish my coffee and get back to the office lol).

Many people have grown up with a picture of God that kinda resembles their parents dusty old computer which sits on a giant computer desk taking up the whole study. It's not really their's, and it's not really useful, except in emergencies. The bible paints a different picture of God. It describes a God who is personalised, who knows us and wants us to know him. It describes a God who can and will be involved (and indeed, helpful) in any aspect of life we choose to invite Him into. It describes a God who will go with us anywhere we go, whether we acknowledge Him or not. This miniature, portable netbook that is mine all mine has completely revolutionised my thinking about computers. I wonder if anyone is ready to revolutionise their thinking about God??

A stroll in the countryside.....

Last Saturday 7 friends and i walked the 3 peaks of Yorkshire. That's 3 mountains (perhaps officially large hills but definitely high- complete with their own weather systems) one after the other in a big loop totalling 25 miles!! The challenge is to complete the walk within 12 hours......but for some people on our team it was a challenge to get half way up the first hill so for their sake we just concentrated on making it round at all!!

Our reason for undertaking this seemingly pointless explosion of effort was to raise money for a trip we are planning to take to Romania in December taking food and clothes etc to distribute to those in need. Our friends had been generous and all that stood between us and the money we needed was one very early morning and 3 mountains. The alarm went off at 5am! At five thirty we were in the car and on our way to Horton in Ribblesdale- the dales village where it all starts. We arrived at 6.30am but by the time we finished faffing around, meeting up with the rest of the team, visiting the loo etc it was 6.55am and we were twenty five minutes delayed on our starting time. Nonetheless spirits were high as we set off into the grey dawn and up the first mountain. Pen-y-ghent, however, was not in such a great mood. The fog was thick and the winds were high when we got to the top, but with one mountain down and only two to go we were still feeling pretty confident about our endeavour.

Once we reached the bottom of the first mountain we began the treacherous journey across the bogs..... sinking, wading, leaping, slipping and falling- this was no stroll in the countryside. Thankfully the fog prevented us from seeing just how far away the second mountain was. We eventually reached our rest stop two hours later than expected. The second mountain, Whernside, has a more gentle ascent however the weather that greeted us when we reached the top was outrageous! Thick fog and gale force winds battered us as we tried to navigate our way along the ridge that runs along the summit. Walking sideways and being blown into the wall was exciting for the first 5 mins but after twenty it was no longer funny! Finally we staggered into the shelter that marks the top and hid behind the wall- Phew, 2 down!!

The descent from Whernside ought to have been a pleasure considering the hideous weather conditions we were leaving behind and the promise of being two thirds of the way there, but unfortunately injury struck! Hannah, who had persevered without complaint despite acquiring serious blisters within the first hour was now suffering with a serious knee injury and could hardly walk down the hill. Limping and wincing with every step i tried to help her hobble down to safety.

Enter the hero.

Feeling sprightly and good natured and upset that Hannah was upset Lindon stepped up to save the day. Knight in shining armour- he would give Hannah a piggy back down the hill! It was a lovely idea but unfortunately it resulted in a second knee injury and we had to leave both Hannah and Lindon with the support team at the bottom.

We were five now and we were tired. We'd been walking for 9 hours already and we still had one mountain to climb. With a distance still to go before we even reached the base of Ingleborough, plus a long long walk back to the car it was starting to feel like a bad idea. I was particularly worried about the daylight situation, we were never going to make it back before the sun set in 2 hours time, thank goodness i'd put torch on the list of important things to bring!!!

The ascent to Ingleborough is short and sharp.......at least it would have been short if we hadn't had to stop for a rest every three steps. The summit was, once again, insanely windy and foggy and so despite climbing three mountains that day we enjoyed exactly NO panoramic vista's. Instead we were lucky enough to receive an insight into what life would be like on pluto......cold, bleak and lifeless. It appeared that anyone else climbing Ingleborough that day had sensibly set off home a few hours ago to make sure they didn't get caught out in the dark.

We began our descent home feeling satisfied.....we had done it....... 3 mountains, one day......lots of money .....and all for a good cause. Now all we had to do was stumble back to the car and we would never have to use our legs again!!!

Unfortunately stumbling back to the car took forever!!

It was SO dark!!! You know when you go the the beach at midnight and it's completely dark. There's no street lights for miles and you look up into the sky and you go "woah"..... "look at all those stars!!!" As long as your lying on your back looking up at those stars it's beautiful right? But then you try and find your way back to the car and you can't see a thing, at all, and your stumbling and tripping and you can't remember where the path was.......

Oh well at least we had torches..........

Or so i thought........ Mine had a dead battery, Jimbob had dropped his on the way down the last mountain and it no longer worked, no one else had read the list of important things to bring and so it turned out that between the 5 of us we had my back-up emergency wind up torch and Steve's iphone. Brilliant!

It took some time and we got a bit scared but with the help of sonar technology (i.e Lindon shouting "hello" from the car and us walking towards his voice) we made it back. Thirteen hours and twenty minutes after we set off. Not exactly a world record speed wise but a world changing example of team spirit. We had helped and encouraged each other all the way and together we have raised about £1500, enough to make our trip to Romania a reality!!

In anticipation of our trip to Romania in December i have spent some time today looking at the country's history and current status on the internet. Previous to our recent plans to visit my only knowledge of Romania was the harrowing images of the orphanages, discovered there after the revolution, and broadcast on our news programs in the early nineties.

Since then Romania has undergone a dramatic transformation. It's economy has boomed and the cities and industries have grown. Romania is now classified as an upper-middle income country. However, this is not the whole story. Many people in Romania are still living in extreme poverty, struggling to satisfy the basic needs of their family; food, medicine, warmth.

http://www.networks.org.ro/

It's pretty depressing looking at the difficult circumstances in which some people are forced to live. And there's so much of it..... all over the world people are suffering in poverty and hardship. And you feel so useless- how can we possibly help them all? Our attempts to help seem so pitiful- like we turned up at an earthquake with a dustpan and brush.

The temptation is to bury our heads in the sand. It's so easy to do that living here in our little Western bubble. Feeling hard done by because we can't afford brand names or a fancy car. It's impossible for us to fully comprehend such lack when we're living amongst such plenty.

But incomprehension and feelings of inadequacy never got anything done. We may not be able to meet all the needs in the world but if we recognise at least one we can focus on doing something about it.

Our trip to Romania in December is not going to meet the needs of the whole country, it's not even gonna come close to meeting the needs of the city we are visiting. But hopefully it will make some small difference to the lives of the people and families we encounter- and if it does......it's still worth doing right???

Chillin out Max and Relaxin all cool

It's funny how time marches on. You look forward to something for months. It feels like it's never gonna come. And then it's here, and your doing it and it's amazing. And then it's over. And your home. And you've been back to normality for a week, and it seems like a distant memory.

Still- it's a very pleasant distant memory!

We had a fantastic time in Portugal. The weather was amazing, 35 degrees centigrade and clear blue skies (bit of shock to the system arriving home!!), the beaches were beautiful and the company (i.e just my lovely husband) was perfect! We swam, walked, read, dozed, snorkelled, sailed and explored our way through a week of pleasure. It was awesome!

One day while visiting the beautiful little beach town of Luz we found a quiet spot on the rocks and dug out our picnic; Chicken sandwiches on white crusty bread with loads of butter, a huge bag of crisps and a bar of chocolate (everyone knows the 5 a day recommendations are suspended when your on holiday). While nourishing our bodies with white carbs, sugar and fat we were treated to the comedy of watching people getting dragged on inflatables across the ocean. Our particular favourite was a giant inflatable sail which we later discovered was named the 'flying fish'. This thing bounced and flew up in the air every time the wind blew- leaving it's passengers clinging on-to what was they're seat, legs flailing out behind them like a flag. Needless to say much screaming and laughing and falling off ensued. We decided we had to have a go!!!

Strolling down the beach we sauntered casually up to the inflatable station trying not to look like two giddy school children and cautiously inquired whether the 'Flying Fish' would be making any more trips today. To our delight and hopelessly disguised excitement we were invited to ride the beast immediately. The gauntlet had been clearly thrown down..... the challenge was clear..... do not fall off this thing no matter what!!

I'm not sure if it was simply because i was a girl or because i screamed like child being tickled the moment we started moving but the man driving the boat seemed to have mercy on me. Lindon not so much. I think the driver thought it would be more funny if he could get the guy to fall in the water but keep the girl on.....and he'd be right!!! The boat sped along and twisted and turned and the fish flew up in the air and I screamed and laughed and was thrown onto the inside of the sail where i could easily climb back on.........meanwhile Lindon was flung to the other side and dragged along with his whole body in the water stubbornly/ valiantly refusing to let go. Fifteen minutes later and i was still smiling (apart from the chafing) while Lindon, though yet to fall, was providing a living explanation for the phrase 'white knuckle ride'. The next day Lindon's arm was so stiff he couldn't lift it up to his mouth, not even when it was holding something good like ice cream.

It's funny what we do for fun. We all love to sit and relax and sleep. But lets face it we'd get kinda bored if that's all we did. God has wired us with a passion for adventure and challenge. Some more than others i concede, for instance, the guys and girls featured in the triathlon magazine i was reading in the waiting room at the dentist today, clearly got more than their fair share. But it's present in all of us. We all have the capacity to embrace hardship and come through to a (hopefully) glorious finish. I know it can be really hard when your going through a difficult time and clinging on for dear life- but when you make through without falling off it feels good right?

The bible has a lot to say about endurance and perseverance because they're a big part of life, and we are encouraged to be strong and not give in when times are hard. But it's not just about what we have to do. The Bible also teaches that in those times of difficulty when we are struggling to hold on, we can call out to him and He will help us.

He's listening.

He's not spying or trying to catch us out.

He's waiting.

Waiting for people to look up from all the chaos that surrounds them and recognise His goodness and love. Waiting for us to ask for His help.

And if we do...... He is ready to answer.

Holiday!!!!!

The day after tomorrow i will be waking up in Yorkshire, lunching in the sky and going to bed in Portugal.

That is blinkin amazing!

It's SO crazy that we can just whizz anywhere in the world in a matter of hours........ and yet we complain that it takes too long! Most of the time i take it for granted but every now and then it hits me how lucky we are to live at a time when it's possible to visit all the different places in the world and see all the different animals and scenery and cultures. Not only are we lucky enough to see all these things described and pictured in a book or filmed and presented on T.V we can ACTUALLY go and visit.

Which brings me to my visit to Portugal. I've never been to Portugal before but apparently everyone i know has. And they all say it's lovely...... so that's a bonus. Ever since i booked it people who've been already have been telling me about it. What the weather was like when they were there, what the beaches are like, what things they saw and did there. Similarly i have had a quick look on the internet at pictures and weather forecasts. I know what the hotel looks like, what the beach looks like and what the temperature will be when we get there on Thursday. (28 degreees C and gloriously sunny in case anyone's interested- not to rub it in or anything!). In theory i know everything there is to know about holidaying in Portugal......i don't really need to go.............but i still WANT to.

Just because you know a bit about a place and have seen some pictures doesn't mean you really know what it's like to be there. The sights, the smells, the atmosphere...... these things can all be described or depicted perfectly but they cannot be truly 'felt' unless you ACTUALLY go. Just because someone you know and trust has been to place and told you all about it, and showed you pictures and given you their opinion doesn't mean you can tick it off your list of places you'd like to visit.

It's funny how we know this instinctively when it come to things like holidays. We want to experience these things for ourselves. If anything, the things other people have told me about Portugal are the very things that make me really want to go. They don't satisfy my desire to holiday, they stir it up.

Some things need to be experienced, they need to be felt. It's not enough just to read about someone else's holiday. It's not enough to watch a romantic comedy and watch the happy couple live a happy ever after. It's not enough to watch that skinny girl on T.V eat a bar of Chocolate!!!

Christianity is one of those things that really needs to be experienced.....that needs to be felt. Your not doing it justice if you just glance at the brochure or take someone else's word for it. You have to invest in something properly to truly discover what it has to offer. I may think i know what it is to holiday in Portugal from my friends and the internet but i won't really know til i fork out my money, take time off work, and get my butt out there.

If your interested in taking some time to investigate the concept of God. If your looking to go deeper than the thoughts and theories about God that you have simply accepted and begin to experience the reality of knowing God in your life then this is what you should do......

Come to an Alpha Course at Cobbles and Clay. Beginning Monday 4th October at 7.30pm and running every Monday for ten weeks, the Alpha Course is an opportunity to explore the Christian Faith. A friendly environment to question and discuss thoughts, fears and hopes.

Bear Grylls did it!!!!

For more information find 'Grapevine 2.0' on Facebook or email grapevinetwopointoh@yahoo.co.uk