I used to work as a manager at Marks and Spencer and we had to have regular reviews with our staff and our bosses and give out 'REDS' and 'GREENS'....it was hideous. I hate that kind of thing. I'd go first.......ahem..."Well Marjorie, I'd say a 'GREEN' for you is, (NB you should always give 'greens' first- build the poor beggers up before you really let rip with the insults), you always get to work on time, well done that's really great! However a 'RED' for you is that you always go home as well and really i'd prefer it if you just stayed cos your such a great person." I'd be feeling quietly pleased with myself for having managed to dodge the 'RED' bullet....i hate giving 'reds'....i had, i felt, successfully managed to disguise a green as a red and therefore done my job as outlined by my superiors without spoiling poor Marjorie's day. It's a bit like when you go for an interview and they start with the trick questions...."so what would you say are your biggest weaknesses??" To which we all reply, "well i hate to admit it but i'm afraid my biggest weakness is that i am a workaholic....if you give me this job i won't be able to help but slog my guts out and do free overtime it's a weakness i know but what can i say i'm flawed". (you know you've done it!!!)
Then of course it would be my turn to be 'GREENED' and 'REDDED' and my boss would start "Well Sam, I'd say a 'GREEN' for you (my heart is swelling with hope) is that you always come to work on time, well done that's really great!" Aw shucks, i'm glowing with pride, i can't believe she noticed...it was definitely worth all those speeding fines. "However a 'RED' for you is that your not actually any good at what your supposed to be doing when your here." Booyah!! The killer shot....my boss was never afraid to fire the 'RED' bullet!!! Floods of tears and months of self doubt ensued.
I guess you could say my experiences of 'feedback reviews' from both sides were RED. Marjorie (whose name has been changed for legal reasons) didn't learn anything useful about how she could do better at her job. And i, had my heart ripped out and my confidence shattered. (NB for those of you currently shedding tears on my behalf i'd like to point out out that i later got the opportunity to work in a new store with a new boss whose management technique was more suited to my sensitive self and i did very well there and all was forgotten....until now lol)
I'm not sure quite why i started telling this story but i'm not deleting it now so here's the lesson....always be nice to Sam or she'll cry.
That and, use your words wisely. It's amazing what we can do with our words.....we can push someone on to greatness or we can undermine their very foundations. Everyday we talk all day long and everyday we have the opportunity to help or to hurt people with our words.
After years of trying desperately to be liked i've gotten pretty good at not saying nasty things (except by accident.....i fear i may often offend people without realising what i'm saying....sorry if i've done that to you recently). However i am, quite rubbish, at saying encouraging nice things! I often think them, but have you ever noticed how embarrassing it can be to be nice. It always makes me feel like a school kid trying to butter up the teacher while all the other kids moan and roll their eyes! Still, when people say genuinely nice encouraging things to me- it makes me feel amazing so i'm gonna try...i'm gonna be brave....i'm prepared to be a bit of a dork.....i think tomorrow........i'm gonna inspire someone to greatness! (I'll let you know how i get on)
No comments:
Post a Comment